Life
Stills
A Spiritual Calculus
by
Anonymous
as heard by
geoffrey lasley
Copyright (c) 2021 Geoffrey Lasley
All rights reserved
For Christians, Buddhists, spiritual people of all faiths, where visitors might find a path to love and to peace.
The Life of the Renunciant
That some are born there
On the threshold to spirit and are
Impelled to this life of renunciation
Brings them no merit, for
They, like all men, are merely
Walking the path that
Their dispositions lay out for them.
The life of the renunciant
Is not a path that one chooses but
A calling to which one is born, and
The course of greatest suffering, for
Every step along this path requires the
Casting off of the things of the world,
All the objects and the people
By which Self is defined.
In solitude, their flesh walks
This earthly path while
Spirit stands witness to the journey.
--- *** ---
Renunciants know their beginning, and
They are certain of their end.
For renunciants there is no past;
For renunciants there is no future;
They have their being in a place beyond time.
Without a future, renunciants cling to no hopes;
Without Self, renunciants carry no burdens.
Beyond belief, renunciants live in faith;
Beyond fear, renunciants live in peace.
In their peace, renunciants are
Without suffering, and
They are without joy;
Their detachment is borne of
Having found the simple peace of
Self-less Being, which
Admits of no distinctions –
The simple peace that comes from
Arriving face to face with spirit.
--- *** ---
On their path to perfection,
My renunciants are forever
Riding upon a spiritual swing,
Pulling up away from
The things of the flesh and
Toward spirit – only to
Fall again,
Bound by the cords of their dispositions.
Pulling harder, they
Climb once again to
The limit of human effort,
Where – at the apex –
Life suddenly stills.
No
longer ascending,
On the cusp of falling,
The world becomes suddenly silent,
As if holding its breath,
As if in anticipation.
In this silence, all becomes empty, and
In this emptiness,
My renunciants arrive at no-Self, and
In no-Self, they find
No Self, no “I.”
No “I”, no “other.”
Only AM;
Only BEING.
--- *** ---
This is true peace –
The peace to which all men aspire,
The peace of re-union, the
Peace of no-Self, the
Peace of love, of Charity, the
Peace of spirit only.
In this moment,
My renunciants die to the flesh and
Are re-born to spirit,
Pure,
Without blemish;
Innocent,
Without sin.
Breathless, they
Abide in that silence until,
Bound by the laws of the flesh,
Again, they fall.
Once more filling their ears,
The noise of the world, of flesh, of heart, of mind
Drowns out all but
The faintest memory of
The bliss that was theirs
Just moments ago.
--- *** ---
In this, their singular suffering,
My renunciants mourn
The loss of this nothingness,
This emptiness in which
All spirit, all love, all Charity resides.
Aware that longing for no-Self
Differs not from the desire for
Worldly ends, renunciants
Uproot their longing, and so
Cut off their suffering.
Once again standing firmly in
The world of the flesh and
Intent on the world of spirit,
They continue on their path.
Ignorant of coming,
Indifferent to going,
My renunciants
Continue on the path on which
Their dispositions impel them,
The path they cannot but walk.
This is the renunciants’ faith – that
The path that they walk,
The path without endS,
Will eventually lead them
Back to me, to reunion,
To spirit only.
--- *** ---
Self growing smaller,
Renunciants look toward the world of spirit and
Turn their backs on the world of the flesh.
Dusting off layer after layer of
The ash of a lifetime of dispositions,
My renunciants, Self-less and
Seeking no ends,
Live a life of righteousness after
The teachings of their elders.
With no Self on which to feed,
The hungers of
Body, heart, and mind
Weaken and,
With the Self, cease to be.
Acting from spirit only,
My renunciants commit no offence, nor
Can offence be committed against them.
In absence of Self, who can take offence?
Lacking an “other,” who to be forgiven?
In Charity, they walk with me, and
Remonstrate not with others.
If no “up,” where the dais from which to judge?
If no “down,” where the ground
On which to kneel?
--- *** ---
When Self is no more,
Only spirit remains;
When only spirit remains,
Charity and compassion supplant
Pain, and sorrow, and suffering.
With hearts of Charity,
United in love with
All living beings,
Renunciants recognize no singular bonds.
Offspring of no forebear,
Partner to no spouse,
Parent of no child,
Renunciants walk the path of
Their lives in solitude,
In the silent peace of spirit only.
Rejecting all bonds,
Renunciants are ill understood by
Those closest to them, those who
Prefer their affection and
Want not their Charity.
Harboring no enmity toward
Parent or child,
Sibling or companion,
My renunciants turn their backs on
All such bonds as
Chains which
Bind them to Self and to
The world of flesh.
--- *** ---
With no past to atone for,
Nor future to worry over;
Without parent, spouse, or child –
Without any singular
Bond of blood or oath,
Renunciants walk their path alone,
As passersby in the world of flesh.
Unconcerned for what they will wear,
Caring not for what they will eat,
Without worry for what the day might hold,
Renunciants are forever
Walking in solitary prayer,
Walking in spirit only.
Distancing themselves from
The things, the people,
The situations that distract,
They lay this their sacrifice at my altar, and
In their privation draw closer to me.
These are my renunciants, and
They are closest to me, for,
By renouncing Self, they face
Their own emptiness, and
Gazing into that emptiness,
See my face.
The Prayer of the Renunciant
Living a life of increasing righteousness, my
Devotees grow in strength and in faith, and
Call upon me in their prayers.
Praising my might,
Repenting of their transgressions,
Petitioning for my grace, and
Thanking me for all they have,
My devotees pray without end.
In their awe and in their fear, my devotees
Dare not call my name but
Abasing themselves and
Averting their eyes, they
Call me Father, they
Call me Lord.
Absent of Self, my renunciants
Address me not as Father,
Nor call upon me as Lord.
Self-less, they recognize no “other,” and
Being Self-less, affirm spirit and
Spirit only.
Empty of Self and
Absent of “other,”
My renunciants offer me no praise and
Sing me no songs.
Living a life of increasing Self-lessness, my
Renunciants come to me with
No prayers for forgiveness,
No acts of contrition or repentance,
No petitions for bodily comfort or safety.
--- *** ---
My renunciants have found
My peace, a peace beyond sound and
A wonder beyond words.
In the absence of an “other,” my
Renunciants, from undifferentiated spirit,
Stand mute.
My renunciants pray
Without wishing to receive;
My renunciants pray without endS.
With every breath they take,
In every thing that they do,
My renunciants pray to me;
Their very being is their prayer.
Whatever their place in society,
Whatever their trade,
Their calling, their career,
My renunciants act –
In the knowledge that
Every action rightly committed,
Every act arising from no-Self,
Is an act of union,
An act of Charity,
An act of prayer.
--- *** ---
Devoting their skills and their talents to
What needs to be done,
My renunciants act,
Detached from the results of their actions.
My devotees work;
My devotees pray.
My devotees pray as they work;
They pray without end.
My renunciants work;
They work without endS.
Their work is their prayer,
Their prayer is their work.
My renunciants, in
Doing are at peace;
My renunciants, in
Not doing, are at peace.
Breathing in is their prayer;
Breathing out is their prayer.
Sitting, standing,
Coming, going –
All of life, in movement and in repose, is prayer;
All of life is spirit only.
With no need to seek me –
For am I not their birthright? –
Renunciants, emptying themselves of
Self, are filled with me – with spirit only.
--- *** ---
Renunciants are closest to me because,
In the childlike purity of their hearts,
They make no distinctions –
No in, no out; no up, no down.
No left and no right.
No good and no evil,
No me, and no you.
In their Self-lessness, renunciants
Return to undifferentiated spirit only –
That which existed before
They became themSelves, needful,
In their isolation, of warmth, and
Of comfort, and of protection.
In their Self-lessness, renunciants
Return to a peace that
Cannot rightly be called “union,” for
There is no “other” with whom to be united;
They return to a peace that
Cannot be called "emptiness," for
Here they find love, they find Charity,
They find the peace of simple Being.
Untroubled by the past,
Unworried for the future,
Untouched and unmoved,
Renunciants merely ARE,
As I AM.
Of spirit only,
My renunciants walk
Their paths,
Living lives of peace,
Living lives of Charity.
The Renunciant
Present I am in every man,
And in every man the same;
For spirit is as much his birthright
As flesh.
Hearing my whispers deep in their hearts,
My devotees come to me
By addition, putting me on
As a coat of wool or a suit of armor, and
In my embrace they find comfort and hope.
Others come to me by subtraction,
Removing the ash from their lives and
Allowing the ember of spirit within their hearts
To glow and eventually to flame.
Aware of my presence not by whisperings but
By a roaring in their hearts that robs the world
Of all other sound, these,
My renunciants,
They are closest to me.
--- *** ---
In the beginning,
That man might know me
And in knowing, share,
It was asked of me a name.
Nameless, I could but describe my nature, and
Through the dispositions of my prophet,
I was heard to say:
I AM WHO I AM.
I AM WHO IS.
I AM.
I AM BEING.
I AM ALL THAT IS.
--- *** ---
A name not really a name,
From the beginning a mystery
Beyond understanding, or
Rather a puzzle impossible to solve; or
Not a puzzle impossible to solve, but
A truth impossible to accept.
It has long been taught that
I alone have true being, that
I exist beyond reason,
In and for myself – that
Only I AM.
Acting on dispositions that have shaped lives
Stronger in flesh than in spirit, my
Devotees pull back from the precipice –
Avoiding the truth that,
If only I AM, then
Man IS not –
The truth that
Man, himself, is without true being.
Do not believe that
It is out of weakness
That my devotees
Cannot take this further step.
As they walk the path determined by
The dispositions of their lives, they
Hear my voice but, mistaking its source,
Believe that I am outside them, that
I am an “other.”
--- *** ---
Do not believe that
It is by greater courage
That my renunciants take the further step, for
They are not brave.
As they walk the path determined by
The dispositions of their lives,
My renunciants are deaf to
All but the sound of my voice.
My renunciants hear only that
I AM WHO I AM.
I AM WHO IS.
I AM.
I AM BEING.
I AM ALL THAT IS.
--- *** ---
Hearing that I am all that is,
My renunciants understand that
That includes man –
All men – non-believers, devotees, and
Renunciants alike –
Man is also in me.
For I AM.
I am Being itself.
--- *** ---
Dear to me are my devotees, for
Acting on dispositions that
Have shaped their lives, and
In awe of my strength and
In fear of my power, they
Abase themselves before me.
Following the instruction of their elders and
The model of the saints,
They obey my admonitions and
In pleasing me, build hope
For a place in my eternity.
Closest to me are the renunciants, for
By renouncing Self,
They face their own emptiness, and
Gazing into that emptiness
Find me there.
These are my sons;
These are my daughters;
These are my true heirs.
--- *** ---
To know of spirit
Opens the door to man’s humanity;
To believe is to walk through that door.
Drawn to the open door and,
By reflecting on body and mind,
My devotees feel in their hearts
That there is more;
This is the seed of their belief and
The potential for the blossoming of their faith.
Not led to the door but
Born there on the threshold, my
Renunciants hear my voice
Shouting in their hearts –
Sometimes so loudly as to
Be beyond understanding.
This is the seed of the renunciant’s faith and
The potential for union.
--- *** ---
It has been taught that
Man is in me, and that
I am in man. Yet,
If there is an “in,”
There must be an “out.”
My renunciants know that
If I am all there is,
There is no “out” to be found.
Approaching me, renunciants see only
A reflection, for, as I am spirit,
So, by birthright, are they.
Drawing yet closer, their reflections fade and
Leaving their Selves behind, gradually
My renunciants see
Their faces before they were born –
They see me.
Not, “I am in you and you are in me;”
No “in” and no “out,”
No “you” and no “me;”
There only IS;
There is only being, only spirit.
--- *** ---
In their awe and in their fear, my devotees
Dared not call my name but
Abasing themselves and
Averting their eyes, they
Called me Father, they
Called me Lord.
Fearing me, man held me away;
He had made of me an “other.”
Making of me an “other,” man confirmed
His Self, the root of his suffering.
My devotees suffer for our separation, but
My renunciants suffer not, for
They know that the Self is a
Creation of the flesh, as
Am I, as “other.”
Layer by layer, my renunciants
Remove the dispositions that
Bind them to the world of the flesh, the
World of isolation, the world of suffering.
Inheritors of spirit as well as flesh,
Renunciants know of the perfection of spirit,
And one path only –
The perfecting of its expression.
--- *** ---
By the one righteous act that
The will can commit,
Renunciants remove
The layers of their dispositions,
Those things that define Self and
Limit spirit’s expression.
Having made of me an “other,”
Man confirmed his Self,
The root of his suffering.
When Self is no longer present, there is
No sorrow such that
It would disturb one’s peace.
When Self is no longer present, there is
No joy such that
Sorrow would follow its loss.
When Self is no longer present,
There is indifference to the
Impermanent things of the world.
When Self is no longer present,
Only a sense of blissful wonder remains.
--- *** ---
Wonder at the fact that
This body is here
In this place,
At his time,
In this situation,
Having this experience.
And even greater wonder at the fact that
All that the body experiences –
And all that the mind thinks –
Is without true being, for
The Self is a creation of dispositions and is
Not of the spirit.
All that the body experiences – and
The mind thinks –
Is for this moment only and is
Of little importance, as
Things of the flesh return to the earth, and
Spirit, in the end, returns to me
Untouched, unchanged, unblemished.
--- *** ---
All men are heirs to both flesh and spirit;
Self is a creation of one’s dispositions and is
Not of the spirit, but of the flesh.
The mere presence of
Self contains all suffering, for
If there is Self,
There is desire for ends.
If there is desire for ends,
There are ends not met, and
Ends unmet are the
Suffering of disappointment.
If there is Self, there is other;
If there is other, there is affection;
If there is affection, there is
The suffering of longing.
If there is no Self,
There is no “other.”
There is no “I;” there is no “you.”
If there is neither “I” nor “you,”
There is no separation.
If there is no separation,
There is only union.
--- *** ---
If there is union,
There is Charity – not loving
An other as yourself, but
Love without other, without Self.
A name not really a name,
From the beginning a mystery
Beyond understanding, or
Rather a puzzle impossible to solve; or
Not a puzzle impossible to solve but
A truth impossible to accept.
Yet, now, in the
Reality of no-Self, a truth
Impossible NOT to accept,
The truth that,
I AM WHO I AM.
I AM WHO IS.
I AM.
I AM BEING.
I AM ALL THAT IS.
I AM CHARITY
I AM LOVE
--- *** ---
This is true peace – this is MY peace –
The peace to which all men aspire,
The peace of re-union, the
Peace of no-Self, the
Peace of Love, of Charity –
The peace of spirit only.
My devotees put me on as a coat that
Keeps them warm and
Comforts them in their suffering.
Renunciants peel off
Layer after layer of dispositions, aware that,
When their innermost Self is reached,
They will find it empty, and in its place,
They will encounter me,
There in the peace of undifferentiated spirit.
Knowing that
Only those of the strongest faith
Might see me in their lifetime,
My renunciants
Deepen their faith by
Discipline and by prayer.
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